Fifty Shades of Bad Writing
Nike magistax turf it being called porn by even the soberest of news media so naturally I had to check it out. James erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey began as nike hypervenom phantom fg cheap Twilight fan fiction, meaning the characters and a few plot points bear striking similarities to Stephenie Meyer girlmeetsvampire love story. Except that he wants nay, needs for her to be his kinky nike magistax turf sex slave.
Studded with more steamy sex scenes than you can shake a riding crop at, the book buzz among undersexed suburban housewives has driven it to the top of Amazon New Releases list. The Fifty Shades trilogy, including sequelsFifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed, occupies numbers one, two, and three on the New York Times bestseller list for ebook fiction. Hollywood studios are flogging each other for the movie rights.
I read Fifty Shades of Grey to see what all the fuss was about, and here what this mommy can tell you unequivocally: It a dozen shades of awful. Centering around the frustrating push and pull of a na who longs to be loved and a sicko nike magistax turf who insists on being obeyed, the book is so absurd it hard to know whether to laugh or cringe. There the juvenile firstperson narrative. The stupefying repetition of the phrase inner goddess. And the toosillyforsoapopera names: Christian Grey is the moody and mysterious control freak. Anastasia Steele is the tougherthanshelooks lit major who has never pleasured herself but it turns out, what splendid luck will climax if you look at her funny. Break out the bondage gear and gag me.
Most disappointing of nike magistax turf all is the language: banal, artless, and choked with clich like to a flame, in my throat, and even (yes, she did) girl! Here one that did me in: legs are suddenly the consistency of JellO. I so glad I decided to wear my best jeans this morning. (Did I mention that I foundTwilight utterly unreadable?)
The sex scenes are pulsequickening, to be sure. James is surprisingly deft at conjuring the feelings both emotional and physical of first lust. But then she kills the nike hypervenom phantom fg cheap mood by having Anastasia gape at her pervy, pantless Adonis and utter (I swear), cow. He can be passed off as merely in the sack he an emotionally damaged manchild who threatens and frightens our heroine. And the fact that it turns her on only further turned me off.
A friend of mine, who loved the whole trilogy, swears that deep down it a gripping love story. you read, she says, crazy sex becomes secondary, and you just fall in love with Christian falling in love. I can even see how, when viewed as pure fantasy, the idea of being told what to wear, what to eat, and, erm, when to kneel might appeal to mommies who spend all day, every day, taking care of others and wondering what the hell happened to their mojo.
A warning, though: The end of Fifty Shades of Grey is surprising and all but dares you not to dive into the second and third books. I won be reading them. You have to tie me up and spank me nike magistax turf.